A little more from the notebook...
Jenna just came into the TV room where Mikel and I were sitting. My book being read. She asked what we were doing and Mikel told her about leaving tomorrow. She went into a diatribe about how she can't live with guys because they are always sitting there and reading her mind. Then she went on to say she could read my mind, and Mikel's, just as we could read hers. Girl is nuts. And again, she called me "peanut".
Great news came about 4:45pm. I am going to go home tonight. My foray into the world of darkness and psychiatric disorders will come to a close tonight... less than 24 hours after I slipped into what is my deepest moment of dispair. I think it's some kind of record to get out of here in that short of time. Just a little break to get myself together. Hopefully T will be acailable to talk to me tonight. I want him to know about the panic that sent me into this spiral that landed me in this place.
I also hope to talk to K tonight. Of all the guys I know, I still feel a strong connection to him. Part of me is hopeful that he gets a job at the local Casino because I would love to see him more. Doesn't hurt that he's super hot, and tons of fun to hang out with. I miss that guy.
Mostly looking forward to being home tonight, being able to close my door and not have it opened every 15 minutes to have someone watch me sleep. That was creepy and unnerving. With that, I hope to close the door on the darkness of the last few days.
It's almost dinner time, and one step closer to going home. Tonight I have ordered a grilled cheese sandwich and tomato soup. I'm actually looking forward to it. For hospital food, it's actually really good. I called E to come at visitation hours to pick me up. He could come sooner, but I really want to see what happens with the remainder of the group sessions that I am scheduled for. A 45 minute "wrap up" is supposed to happen, but doesn't, so it seems almost fruitless to have stayed. Could it be that I am actually enjoying the chaos that surrounds me right now?
As we were sitting and talking in the TV room, Al Qaeda just shouted out "Alcohol makes you feel so much better though!" This had nothing to do with the conversation that was taking place in that room, and I fail to see how he has any chance of being released any time soon.
On the board is a quote "THE PAST IS A TOOL FOR THE NOW WHICH DETERMINES THE PRESENT WHICH DETERMINES THE FUTURE"
Hope my few readers are having a good day, I'm watching some news stories unfold and trying to determine if I want to go across the state with D and her family for the weekend. It's a 7 hour drive, so hopefully... hopefully... it would clear my mind.
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