more observations

More from my 5.31.11 notebook as I was on the unit

Jenna, the annoying touchy one and Ken, the Al Qaeda kid are related. When they get out, they were planning on living together. Just no, in the hall, Jenna declared that Ken is not living with her"You're just not" is all she declared. Granted, there was no argument from him.  

Now Phillip is pacing the hall, hands in his pockets, nervous as ever. I kind of feel his pain. Of all the people here, I think he would be the one to follow through with his suicide threat.

My heart goes out to most of these people. Most of them are not crazy, they just have a lot going on in their heads. I've been there, so it's hard to judge, not that it's really my place. I think being here has given me some perspective.

I really miss T right now and I fear that my weakness and needing to be here will have me losing him forever. I love him and don't want that, I just wish he were open about how he feels about me. 

As lame as it is, Daphne, Mikel and I are all enthralled with the weather channel. It almost feels normal to know what is going on outside, because we are unable to go out and experience it right now. Just a small reminder about what is happening in the real world. I don't know how people can be in here for any extended period. Even working here has to drive you crazy. I miss my ability to be online, and as much as overconnectivity annoys me, I miss it.

Philip has joined us in the TV room. He talks to himself under his breath and I think he may be a touch schizophrenic. I am not relishing the thought of being here another evening. Granted, I don't have the fear as I did on my first day in, but I am a bit anxious. And if Jenna doesn't stop her predatory pacing, I'm going to need an Ativan. I just cannot be confined any longer. I don't want to be asking for meds, because I think that will slow my progress of getting the fuck out. 

Here's hoping that T will be talking to me and I'll be able to see him on Thursday.

E said he would stay at my apartment with me if I get out. I hope he is able to spring me from this joint. I think he will have earned the Arts and Crafts project.

I have a few things I need to do if I am going to go see D tonight and spend the weekend in the other part of the state. So I suppose I should get on that.